I Pledge a Lee Gents

I'm not the type of mother that easily shrugs away parental duties, at least not on purpose. But I suddenly became aware today that I had so far failed to impart any civics lessons whatsoever unto my child.

"I can say the Pledge of Allegiance," Lily announced out of nowhere earlier today.

"You can?" I responded, triply suprised, proud, and grateful to the school system for picking up my parental teaching slack. Or to be more precise, I thanked the pre-school system.

I then eagerly awaited what I fully expected would be a mangled recitation of the pledge, something along the lines of:

I pledge a Lee Gents
To the flag of the
Night and Skates of America
And to the Republican
For witches stand
One nation,
Under God, invisible,
With liver teeth and juices for
all.

Instead, my articulate daughter recited the pledge near perfectly. With one exception. She left out the words "under God."

I thought at first maybe she had just forgotten to say them, but when I attempted to insert them on her behalf, it didn't ring any of her bells.

Then I realized I'd just had an up-close-and-personal encounter with Church vs. State.

Do you realize if you Google the words "kids, pledge of allegiance, and controversy" you'll end up with a whopping 76,500 results? The key words "pledge of allegiance constitutionality" generate 319,000 results. A quick scan of the results leads me to believe that nearly every school district in every state in the country has grappled with this issue. And at least one federal circuit court in the US has ruled the mandatory recitation of the pledge in public schools is unconstitutional owing to the inclusion of the phrase "under God."

Anyone who knows me well knows I'm not what you'd call an active religious practitioner. Neither am I an atheist, or a non-theist, or whatever the politically correct term is these days. I can read about and understand the mostly intellectual but sometimes emotionally charged arguments from people on both sides of the pledge issue.

What I have trouble understanding is what all the fuss is about. Kids will ultimately grow up and develop their own religious and spiritual beliefs, hopefully influenced more by their parents than by the schools they attend. Whether or not they say the words 'under God' while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance won't be the ultimate determining factor of their personal religious creed.

So I guess what I'm saying is don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Say the pledge, with or without the two controversial words. But we shouldn't let two charged words, a mere three syllables in total, stop our schools from helping to instill a sense of national pride and patriotism in our children.

Gosh, it seemed a lot less complicated when I was a kid.

Is this a great dad or what?

Anatomy Lessons

So the other day when I drop off Lily at school, her teacher Ms. Heather comes and asks me if I saw the drawing Lily brought home from school yesterday.

Now, I look through ALL of Lily's drawings, but honestly, since she produces them at an astonishing pace, I can't say I spend more than a couple of seconds looking at each. And for the most part, I promptly forget about them immediately afterwards.

So I quickly rack through my recollection of yesterday's artwork, murmuring a muted "uh-hum" to the teacher, all the while wondering if my precious daughter just happened to illustrate something that would ring the alarm bells of school psychologists.

"Did she tell you what it was?" Ms. Heather asks.

"No," she didn't, actually," I respond, which is unusual, because Lily typically likes to describe her creations in graphic (no pun intended) detail. "What was it?"

"She drew a uterus for the class."

Oh boy.

Or in my case, oh girl.

Did I mention Lily's excited about becoming a big sister?

Yes, apparently Lily had drawn said anatomical part, knew the exact pronunciation, and told all 31 of her classmates what it was. Considering I've been getting many pats on my stomach from said classmates, I'm surprised none of them came up to me and asked me about my uterus on that day.

Ms. Heather was amused, to say the least. She's the type of teacher who would probably turn the uterus drawing into some sort of learning opportunity for the kids.

I'm just relieved she didn't ask me to come in and be a guest speaker on the topic.